


Honesty and trust

by DragonK



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: AU, Bucky mention, Canon Divergence, Gen, POV Second Person, Post-CACW, They love each other, introspective, kind of gen and more about their friendship but, preslash, steve tells the truth
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-03
Updated: 2016-11-03
Packaged: 2018-08-28 19:02:46
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,114
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8459332
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DragonK/pseuds/DragonK
Summary: At an indiscriminate, vague point in time between catws, aou and cacw, in a vague location, Steve approaches Tony to tell him something. Things will probably be okay, eventually. Tony gets introspective.(Canon au, second person pov (tony). Short ficlet that occurred to me fairly spontaneously.)





	

**Author's Note:**

> Apologies for the pov, but it's the only way the story worked for me at the time. And this is unbeta'd because it is super short and quick, but I hope someone enjoys it. ^^'

 

You’re pulling a shirt over your head, the undersuit top crumpled on a bench in front of you, when Steve approaches. You tug the shirt down quickly to get a look at his face. He looks...tentative. Wary. Unsure. You’re immediately concerned. Outside of someone flirting at him, Steve doesn’t act unsure - and he’s not blushing, he just looks nervous, so it’s not that. Steve clears his throat; you look up at him and smile, and he gives a fleeting one of his own. He’s not angry at you, at least, because then he wouldn’t bother at all with the smiling.

 

“What can I do for you, Cap?” you ask, curious. Steve huffs a small, uneasy-sounding laugh, pushes a hand through his hair, and you can literally see as he pulls himself together, expression going serious. That’s more like it.

“I have to tell you something.” Well, that sounds ominous. You wait for him to continue, and when he doesn’t immediately, prompt him:

“Okay...?” You say, gesturing for him to go on. Steve loses his composure for a split second, and you’re not sure you want to know anymore.

“There’s...really no good way to say this,” he says, hesitating, “but I can’t...I won’t keep it from you any longer, I wasn’t sure how to tell you, and--” Steve’s prevaricating.

“Just tell me, Cap,” you say sharply, cutting his rambling short, “what is it?” 

“The Winter Soldier killed your parents,” he blurts, and the words don’t quite connect right away. You must have heard wrong. Steve’s eyes are big and blue and concerned, and it’s hard to breathe, suddenly. You push through the feeling.

“No, that’s not possible. They said there was a car crash -- Howard crashed the car because he was driving drunk!” You don’t realize you’ve raised your voice till Steve winces.

“Maybe he caused the crash, or someone lied. I don’t know. I just know what Zemo’s computer told us,” Steve said, voice soft, almost pleading but gentle over that. You’re insulted but your mind is too busy freaking the hell out because your worldview has just shifted on its axis. You’re not even sure what to do with this information. It’s too overwhelming.

“HYDRA told you? And you believe them?”

“It was bragging. I believe that the Winter Soldier killed your parents because the computer was right about everything else.” Steve says, and reaches out to you, and you step back, evading.

“No,no, it was an accident.”

“Tony--”

 

You leave the room with outward calm (unless they were to look in your eyes; your eyes always show everything, it’s why you wear sunglasses all the time) but fast enough that you can’t claim you aren’t fleeing, running from what you already know is true. It’s just, if Steve’s friend Bucky - and yes, you noticed he called him the winter soldier, but you’re ignoring that - killed his parents, and it wasn’t just an accident...you’re not sure how to feel about Bucky. You looked up to him, like Steve, when you were a child. You’re helping the search and research into helping the amnesiac assassin. And you find out he murdered your parents. He killed your mom.

 

“Oh, G-d. _Mom._ ” You’re crying, you’re curled in the corner of your walk in closet like a little kid crying because you didn’t get to mourn properly and now….

“Should I hate him?” you breathe, so quietly you can barely hear it. It’s an hour before you’ve both calmed yourself and organized your thoughts in a coherent way. You take a deep breath and let it out slowly, then repeat, and get up, emerge from your hiding place, and go to find Steve.

 

Because you’re angry and confused and upset and stunned still, but you realize that if Steve had chickened out you wouldn’t know, and maybe ignorance is bliss, but you don’t trust it. You’re _glad_ to know, even if you’re not sure what you’ll do when you see Bucky. Logically you know it’s not his fault, and part of your brain accepts that and has decided that the best revenge, the best way to ensure that it won't happen again, is helping the man and ridding him of HYDRA’s programming for good, if you can. But. Emotion is stronger than logic.

 

You go to find Steve, and avoid thanking him because that’s just plain weird and awkward. And you’re glad he told you because you know he must have thought about not saying anything, and he must’ve put it off a few times, and you get it, you really do! But he held ‘telling people things’ over your head while keeping this a secret from you, even if he told you now. You're angry and thankful and confused and grieving and more things without words to articulate them. As ever, your feelings towards the good Captain are a muddled mix of emotions. Some things, at least, don’t really change.

 

 _He’s going to try to apologize,_ you think with a huff. He’s also going to explain why Bucky isn’t to blame (as if you can't know that, but at the same time it doesn't mean it doesn't hurt) because Steve trusts you but he doesn’t _trust -_ especially when Bucky is at stake - that you wouldn’t just…. So if it stings that he thinks you’d hunt down his friend for what he was forced to do randomly, you also _get it._ You don’t trust easily, either. You know you keep things secret because you’re afraid of how the other person will react, you can’t control them or make them stick to a script and it's scary because it could ruin everything... Especially with something this...sensitive, people can be unpredictable. So, you know, you can’t blame him exactly. But he _told you._  And it still _hurts_ but you understand and you just kind of want to go hang out with your friend and pretend this didn’t happen, while also wanting to avoid him completely for a week. You have to acknowledge it did happen, though, and… find the balance between you and Steve again, because g-d, you love him in spite of it all. For now, you're pretty sure things are going to be okay. You can grieve and pull yourself together and adjust to the knowledge you now have. 

 

 (The future still holds the Accords, you don't know yet what form they'll take but you know you and Steve will probably disagree - best to take advantage of the good times while they last. Maybe the two of you will have an easier time communicating than the futures you've imagined. And at least this one cat is out of the bag, now.)

**Author's Note:**

> I posted a version of this on my tumblr originally before I ended up editing it; that unnamed fic became this one, and I think this is much improved :p


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